crush these crushes!
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
god is not without humor. or trust. or faith.
ugh. aye me. what to do. about friend downstairs, crush across campus, and man with umbrella. all potentials. temptation i asked for. temptation i have got.
i have a sweet boy that's ready to jump into something i want (but on such an oh-so materialistic, chick flick movie level. itd be fun, but it won't last.) , but know i shouldn't get into.
i have another that makes my knees weaken, my heart jump, and distracts me from church.. and everything else in life.
i have another that is purely.. physical attraction, as gross and adult-ish/closer movie sounding that is. but its true. purely based on looks and a thin frosting of charm. but no depth. not like bachelor #2.
i can't stop thinking about #2. he's the guy i've always wanted. everything i .. envisioned. embodiment of all things i had hoped to change about guys i had flings with in the past... but i don't know whether that means.. go for it! or if its god dangling the ultimate cheesecake-tasty temptation in front of me...
he makes me want to go to class.
he makes me want to go to church. (but that can be bad and good)
he makes me laugh.
he makes me happy.
he has a hint of ghettoness.
he has a lot of nerdiness 8) you know how i love my nerds.
he has style, but doesn't indulge.
he has a priority and passion for jesus.
he has a brain and uses it.
he has a voice and uses it.
he has ambition and a dream.
he has an appreciation for music, esp. improv jazz.
he has a heart for exploration in new things.
he has compassion for others.
he has a quirky laugh i can distinguish from everyone else's.
he is taller than me.
he is bigger than me. :P not fat, not buff, but a good, healthy-boy size. 165 lbs, 5'11"
he's a baller :P
he always hangs out with my best girl buddies here in berkeley and gets along with them very well. and am i jealous. a tinge, but only because i don't know whether he would even consider me as a potential.
he jokes about us liking each other.. okay. only twice, but it was heaven playing along with it.
EVERYONE i have told thinks we would be such a cool couple.. to see and hang out with. everyone says its surprising i like him, but that they could see it happen.
my friend jen lin told me that she could see a special connection between us, but that was before i freaked out about discovering i liked him and i started acting awkward.
he doesn't talk to me onlnie, which is a godsend considering #1. this is a face-to-face, direct relationship. but.. that may just indicate his lack of interest in me since he's never asked for my sn, but has asked for other girls'. =/ regardless, internet has sabotaged just about all other potential relationships, so perhaps it is better. take things super duper slow.
man, i'm sprung. what am i going to do =( this is like turning down entering a free sweepstakes for the ultimate.. prize. what do i have to loose. so much to gain. but if i'm not supposed to.. hey. what do to.
i've been listening to worship songs non stop this entire week. what is a girl to do. GOD, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO.
posted by Tiffany @ 11:28 PM
2 Comments:
wow...everybody seems be going through an 'anti-crush phase' or something... but, man, guy #2 sounds dreamy... err, not to imply any sort of action based on that. truthfully, I was never too hot when it came to dealing w/boys =\ and i never seem to know if getting myself into anything would be God's will or not either. (i have a feeling i'm a huge ass disappointment when it comes to doing the right thing =\) So..guess i can relate (we probably all can in some way), but i may not be too much help =\ at least you know what's driving you to each guy. I think just knowing that gives you a sense of what to do. you can also get to know a person pretty well w/o jumping into anything. let the guy know you're there. don't be afraid to take the initiative sometimes, like you could ask for his sn instead of waiting for him to ask for yours (though i agree a face-to-face relationship is much better than online) but yeah, don't get into anything too fast. i have faith in you, tiff. =) and don't worry, whatever happens, God will have His way.. and there's nothing you can do about it.
tiffanyang i dunno what to say. i just know that i would want all three guys put in one. sooo, that's not helpful advice.
but here's my personal opinion: don't rush into anything. wait. try to get to know the person better. it seems like guy #2 is really cool. but you gotta make sure that this isn't just passion talking. when you like someone, everything about them seems perfect. can you easily talk to him? maybe you should test him out. see if what you perceive him to be is actually true. guy #1 sounds really nice. keep a friendship with him. i dunno, but maybe something might blossom. you never know. personally, da ge was like guy #1 to me. i thought that we weren't going to last. i told rosie and sam and stuff that i thought we would break up soon. but then after time, i realized there was much more. and now he's just all three to me. stay friends with all three right now. some things take time to appear.
just be careful tiffanyang. i don't want you to get hurt. i just want you to be happy. and stay happy.
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